Shape Up & Fly RightPosted: Monday, January 8, 2007
I cannot and will not remain silent. I must cry loud and spare not. I feel as though I would be committing a crime if I didn’t speak my mind on an issue that continues to plague so many. I am so glad women have stopped lining their lips with black eyeliner; however, there is one trend that still seems to linger, simply refusing to go away.
I am reminded of this horrendous beauty mishap every time I go into a certain Trader Joe’s. Now, as long as I have breath to breathe here on God’s almost green earth, I will never begin to understand why women shave their eyebrows completely off then draw them back with an eyeliner pencil. The cashier, who seems to be committed to performing this act, draws her fake brows higher than where they originally were and as thin as a piece of yarn. And to make matters worse, she always has that four o’clock shadow effect whenever I see her. I almost feel obligated to suggest electrolysis to have the hair permanently removed. When it is time to pay for my groceries, I can never make eye contact with her; instead, I simply hold my head down like a little child who has just been caught in the act of doing something very shameful, but when she’s not looking I’m examining those brows as if I was checking the authenticity of a hundred dollar bill. Sometimes I wish I knew what car she drove so that I could leave a note on her windshield, begging her to please stop mowing down her brows.
If I had the guts I would tell her: I often go to the Benefits cosmetics store to have my brows waxed because they do a great job of making them appear a lot thicker then they actually are and I’m always pleased with the outcome. There are several beauty experts, most of them estheticians, waiting to help you look your absolute best. In between visits, I usually maintain them by plucking stray hairs with tweezers. I would also suggest she try the brow guru, Anastasia’s do-it-yourself eyebrow kit.
The five item kit has everything a girl needs to shape up and fly right, including brow stencils, powder, and tweezers.
Unfortunately, the next time I see her I’ll probably bite my tongue, grin and bare it.